I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
