yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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