Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
