Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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