But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
