we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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