you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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