D3 body, D1 cock
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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