wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
