Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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