and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
