There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
