So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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