Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
