Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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