check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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