so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
