I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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