I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
