i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is her dick bigger than yours?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
