"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
