One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
