i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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