We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
