kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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