get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
