I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
