please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
