I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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