so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
