She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
