I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
