are you still at the devil's house?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
