I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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