You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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