Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
