Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
please come you make the beer taste better
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
