I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
