shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
