i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
