She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It was a blind-side dick pic.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
