sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
