Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize