had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
