Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
