Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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