I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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