Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
