so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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