It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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