Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She has the best kind of daddy issues
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
