I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
