I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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