Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
