That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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