i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
