babies were throwing up all over the place
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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